Why Disney Prefers Robbery Over Misogyny

Disney just announced it will strike the mortal blow to misogyny and human trafficking. 

How? 

By modifying their “Pirates of the Caribbean water ride”. (Of course)

For 50 plus years pirates have been chasing, catching and then selling winches at the town auction. 

No longer. 

All I have to say is, “Thank you higher power”

Think of the traumatized children fearing being hoisted atop the shoulder of a pirate or of impressionable teens who after viewing the spectacle have said to themselves…”Why, that slave trade looks mighty appealing, where do I sign up?”

Again I say “bravo” to the enlightened post-modern warriors of Disney.

So what will become of the idle pirates?

What will be their new vocation?

Why, fleecing the Pirates of the Caribbean townsfolk of course. 

Disney’s new attraction will feature these citizens handing over their hard earned cash to their pirate guests. (I am not making this up)

Out with violent acts against women…in with violent acts against everybody (including women)

In conclusion I would like to thank our secular-humanist friends at Disney for provided a spot on visual aid on how their bazar spinning moral compass works.

 

P.S. Memo to Disney:

-Misogyny is bad

-Stealing is bad

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